A Take On Children's Behavior In General

Lately I have been noticing some things about my children. A lot of my "revelations" come from the fact that I recently started to read the "Little House" series. Well, I have been noticing things about society in general, actually.

- Children today suffer from far more 'disorders' than 100, 50, even 20 years ago. I am not talking individual situations, and as I do not know your child, I do not mean any disrespect to anyone who may be reading this. I am speaking purely in hypothetical generalizations. An example... "IEP"'s are becoming standard, it seems. Many children I know have had them, or are currently being treated in various ways for things like ADD, ADHD (they want to label my son this), developmental delays (my daughter is labeled this one), etc.

So the question is, why? Could it be the advancing of mental understanding and availability of resources to parents? Possibly this is part of it. I am sure there are children who, given any situation or time, would qualify for these disorders. I am not questioning that they are real, just the widespread diagnoses of late.

Is it the food we eat, the chemicals we put on, in and next to our bodies every day in the form of pesticides, plastics and other harmful substances? This is probably part of it, but it can't explain away the magnitude of the problem.

So what is causing the problem? Before I get to that, let me tell you about two of the observations I made... On a whole (and of course, with exception), people who have more children have more well-behaved children. Also, people who have more to do, such as people who live on farms, or those who home school have more well-behaved children. Now I am not claiming that 1 child public school children are not behaved, I am just stating what I notice to be true on the whole.

So why is this? I believe that the answer is TIME!!! We have TOO much free time, and our kids do not have enough responsibility. Back in the "Prairie Days", the kids were up at dawn with their parents doing age and gender appropriate chores. (If this were the case today, Child Protective Services would be called in a heartbeat.) The littles would help mom stir/mix/knead breakfast. The middles would milk, collect eggs, and feed animals. The olders would cook, fork hay and other more labourous chores.

They would THEN eat breakfast. Could you imagine making kids today do anything before they eat? Mt kids balk at having to get dressed before breakfast! After breakfast, most children went to school in the winter and did chores in the summer. After lunch, there were more chores, or perhaps some savored free time. Then they helped make dinner. After they ate, they would clean up the kitchen, animal pens, the garden (or farm). And finally, bed.

What do our children today do? Well, for those with large families or those who home school (by-and-large, but not as a rule), the kids have responsibility. The olders help mom or the youngers. They have to do chores around the house, they have to do some things for themselves.

For the rest of us - me included (this is taken from my direct experiences with my own children)... They whine and complain that they are hungry or thirsty while mom is cooking breakfast. They eat, but complain that it is too much, not enough or not what they wanted. Then they play or watch TV while mom cleans up. They play or watch TV until lunch while mom does the "chores". They complain about lunch in the same fashion as breakfast. Then they fight while schoolwork is forced upon them (home school). They cry at clean-up time. They play computer and fight with each other over the mouse while mom cooks dinner, and watch TV or play after they are done eating (if they even eat at all) while mom cleans it all up (if she's not too tired from the rest of the day). They play in the bath while mom washes them, and get upset when it's over. BEDTIME (finally, phew!) More arguments

This is not a typical day, everyday. Just what could happen throughout the course of a day. So what is to be done? As for me, I am NOT going to chalk it up to ADHD or developmental delays and let the psychologists and child study teams sort it out. I am going to do something (besides medication). I am (finally) going to give my kids responsibility.

Now is where I ask for suggestions. Age appropriate chores for
1. A 5 year old who is the size of a 3 year old, and has an attitude of a 15 year old.
2. A 3 year old the same size as the 5 year old - he thinks he's 5 :-)
3. An 18 month old (the size of a 2 year old) who also thinks he's 5! :-P

I will keep you updated!
With love,
One Christian Mom