One Christian Mom: Another Visit and other things

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Another Visit and other things

I know I promised a Day In Pictures. I took the pics, but have yet to download them. I will get to it! :0)

We had another "Daddy Visit" today. Talk about exhausting. He showed up yesterday - it seemed like he either hadn't slept all week, or had drank a 6 pack on the way over. He wasn't making sense and he was doing the "bobbing and weaving" typical of someone who drinks. I just don't know what to think. He said he came from an AA meeting. With all the lying he did to me before, I am having trouble trusting him now.

He lets the kids to whatever they want while I am gone, and when I get back I have to put the pieces back together again. It is frustrating. He requests that I do the errands on Saturday so he can spend time with the kids, which is understandable. When I left, the kitchen and dining area were clean, and the living room had some toys on the floor. When I got home, the arts and crafts stuff had been upended over the dining table and floor, there were foods out on the kitchen counter and dining table, there were clothes on the floor in the living room... and my middle son was in a diaper. I have been training him using the method of leaving underwear on all the time as if he was trained. Well, he had an accident and he put a diaper on him. My husband knew I was training my son, I told him to take him to the bathroom and leave the underwear on him. He also knows that the kids cannot just dump all their stuff out all over the room!

So now he's gone. The house is a mess. I am left with the behaviors, the mess, and starting over with toilet training. Frustrated! Any suggestions on how to handle this???

Also, I had my first "Celebrate Recovery" meeting at church yesterday. The meeting runs late, but it is worth it. The meeting is for anyone who is recovering from anything, and the family supporting them. It helped me realize that instead of "blaming" the alcohol for everything, I need to find another way in the Lord's leading. The meetings run weekly, and I can't wait for next week's meeting.

God Bless you and your Lord's Day!
One Christian Mom

2 comments:

Kim said...: Well, again, I have been where you are...and I hate to ask this...but is it safe to leave the kids under his watch if you think he might have been drinking? Looking back on my own life with an alcoholic husband, that was one of my biggest regrets! If your husband has been drinking, he can not control when he may fall asleep and the kids go left unattended....believe me, I know! I am NOT judging you, just asking. My heart goes out to any woman in your shoes as it is so so so hard! and I know that feeling inside of you...I will pray for you. There is really not any way to expect things to go differently if your DH has not changed, and since the mess is yours to clean up when he leaves, I doubt he'll care as it won't seem "real" to him. I'm sorry.
Your meetings at church sound great! I hope it helps you! If you ever need to talk,please feel free, as I know where you are and have walked many miles in your shoes.; January 26, 2009 5:33 AM
Martha said...: Aw, I apologize. I truly hope your husband will get his priorities straightened out, alcohol is a terrible thing indeed!! My sister's ex also cause chaos with his unorganized routine with the kids, it's brutal. I will keep your precious family in my prayers!!

P.S. I know this is a totally different situation but I list out especial rules to my MIL when she watches my son. It usually does the trick and she remembers unique rules such as "no chocolate soymilk until AFTER his nap, and no cookies until after dinner".

But men have a short term memory so I'm unsure if it'll work on him!; January 27, 2009 3:30 PM

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Frugal Tips

**Still under construction - please check back for more!**

Recently, a lot of people in real life have been asking me about my tips for frugal living. I have gained quite a few of them through the years as our family grows and the cost of living is skyrocketing. This list is ever growing, so check back for updates! If you have a frugal tip, let me know, and I will add it to the list, with credit to you!

TIP #1
The first thing I did was join The Grocery Game at http://www.thegrocerygame.com/. I think it's $10 for three months, but you can save way more than that. You do need to either live in a metropolitian area, or have access to the city's newspaper in order for it to work well. I have saved between 25% to 100% off of grocery items. This works best if you have no brand preference for most items. I only subscribed for the first three months. After that, you pretty much get the gist of the savings plan, and can do it on your own. It basically follows the sales at the stores, and the coupons in the paper. When the store has rock-bottom prices on the item in the coupon, it will tell you to use it. Sometimes the item is free!

TIP #2
Another GREAT tip that most people don't do is cut back on your disposable items in your household. I wrote a post on this sometime last week, I think! :-) I am not just talking about cups and plates, but also paper towels, napkins, even things like yogurt. For the paper products, just replace them with cloth. We bought dishtowels at WalMart for $5 for a package of 6, the initial cost is higher, but you will make that back in a month or two (depending on your family). We use those instead of paper towels. For napkins, we use dishrags, pretty ones! They were also inexpensive, and they wash well. When we have company we break out the "real" cloth napkins, it just looks nicer.

For things like yogurt, milk, etc - buy the larger items, then package it yourself in smaller containers. If you like to take yogurt to work, put some in the small tupperware containers from the large container. That way, you are saving money, and helping keep the earth cleaner by not throwing plastic away every day.

TIP #3
For those of you who have babies, CLOTH DIAPERS! Here is a great site for you to learn about them: http://www.diaperpin.com. There are forums there where you can ask questions, read about others who use them, etc. They also have a rating scale on how well the diapers work for others. I, personally, went with the cheapest option, which was prefolds with covers. You can get quality prefolds for $2 per diaper (if purchased in a dozen) and covers for around $9-$11 each. So for the cost of one month's diapers, you have enough to fit your baby for at least a year. Most people will have to buy two sizes over the baby's diaper-wearing lifetime, but it's still way cheaper than buying diapers to throw in the trash! Also, washing them is easier than you might think. Dump all solids into the toilet. Store wet diapers in a wet-bag or dry diaper pail or trash can. When you wash them, put them on a cold rinse cycle. Then add detergent (home-made, preferably, which I will talk about later) or about 1/4 the amount for commerical detergents and put on a warm wash, cold rinse cycle. Dry on medium in the dryer, or hang to dry! Which leads me to:

Tip #4
Hang-dry your clothes. I can hear it already. "But my complex won't let me have a clothesline!" OK, here are some remedies for that. The first solution is to have a folding rack that you can put outside when you dry your clothes, then take it in when they are dry. Since it's not a permanent fixture, most complexes will allow this. Another solution, which may take longer, is to put your clothes rack up inside near a heater (in the winter) or a fan (in the summer). It may take longer for them do dry, but it has never taken mine longer than a day to dry, and I do about a load a day.

Problem with stiff clothes when you hang? Here are two solutions. The first is to add a few tablespoons of vinegar to the rinse cycle in the washing machine. They won't be as soft as in the dryer, but they will be softer than if you didn't. The second solution is to hang them until almost dry. Then put them in the dryer for 10 minutes. You will never know they were hung to dry, and you will save 80 minutes of drying time in the dryer!

More Tips to Come!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Another Visit and other things

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